


What I miss most

by ofreverentia



Series: Only Human [4]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Based on a Calum Scott song, Friendship, Future Fic, M/M, Not Beta Read, Retirement, Song Lyrics, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 19:36:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17873519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ofreverentia/pseuds/ofreverentia
Summary: It wasn't born of skin and bone'Cause under the sun, above the wavesUnder three climbs and I'm far awayMaybe what I miss most





	What I miss most

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Javi POV... sorry?

_ It must have been a year since _

_ I was thrown across an ocean far from home _

_ And I was making oceans _

_ Riding in between the highs and lows _

 

_ Ooh, when I wake in the morning I _

_ Ooh, it's the first on my mind _

 

Javier rolled out of his bed, warm and comfortable but the alarm ringing for the third time in the last half an hour was a sole indicating how it was time for him to wake up. He couldn’t allow himself to really to lay in bed, his flight would leave in a few hours and his bag was not yet packed. If Javier will ever change in that aspect he learned quickly that no matter how many years he has done this or will do it, nothing changes. Sighing he shuffled to his bathroom, just a quick glance on his phone to confirm it was the right day.

 

**20.04.2021.**

 

Ignoring the number of notifications from different apps on his phone he took a shower, throwing some clothes in his bag, making sure he actually had his skates and the most essential items. He can’t exactly show up in Japan without his skates, especially since he needed them at the shows he is going to participate in. Closing the zipper with some difficulty and added pressure of his knee, he rolled his luggage to the door. In the kitchen he made himself a cup of coffee and some toast, going through his messages now, typing out a few replies to business emails, informing his sister that yes he was awake and would have a taxi in an hour to get him to the airport on time.

 

Javier wondered how long it has been since he was in Japan, maybe a year now. After his retirement he did Japan Open for one more year but since then he only did the summer shows. He chuckled bitterly. In the past he was thrown across the oceans and continents on nearly a weekly basis but not anymore. He started to settle into his future life as a full time coach. This would be the last time he would do shows in Japan too and maybe him too. Opening an app he barely used he frowned at their chat window, the last time they exchanged a few words during the holidays, though somehow the younger managed to send a message for his birthday.

 

“ **Javi now really old man. Happy Birthday** ” Added some cute emojis he could never really understand. Javier sighed pouring his now cold coffee into the sink, ignoring the sinking feeling in his chest.

 

_ Maybe what I miss most _

_ It wasn't made of steel and stones _

_ And maybe what I miss most _

_ It wasn't born of skin and bone _

_ Under the sun, up on the waves _

_ Under three climbs when I'm far away _

_ Maybe what I miss most _

 

_ And maybe you'll never know _

_ And maybe you'll never know _

 

Arriving in Japan always made him happy. He loved the country and the people, a certain someone maybe a little bit more. So many of his old friends, still friends would be at the shows this year again, giving Javier the chance to catch up with them about their lives. Fantasy on Ice was always fun and he felt grateful to be still invited but saw his expiry date. The first day of rehearsals rolled around faster than anticipated but nothing could prepare him to see Yuzuru again. His breath caught in his throat as the dark haired male walked in, talking a mile and a minute with someone from the crew. About a month he had announced his retirement, right after Worlds where he took the gold for a last time. People were disappointed and almost angry at him for doing it right before the Olympics. Everyone expected him to continue and get that third gold at least but they were all blind to see how worn out Yuzuru was at this point, how his body barely cooperated with him. Javier could see it and provided the silent support his old rival needed. If he was honest he missed the times where the two of them would train together, travel for competition under the same coaching team. He didn’t miss the nerves, anxiety, sleepless nights or the anger over unfair judging but he did miss the smiles the two of them shared. Pyeongchang was such a long time ago, he wasn’t sure he dreamed some of the moments that happened. 

 

Whenever he did his training in Madrid to keep in shape he missed the sight of a helping hand after a rough fall. Javier wasn’t stupid to try quads anymore but occasionally he couldn’t help to throw his beloved Salchow out. His thoughts were interrupted by the call of his name in that adorable accent, making him lock eyes with those incredibly dark ones. Javier opened his arms and the smaller one walked into them without hesitation. They hugged for what felt like eternity, pulling back only when the staff announced how they could go and test the ice, the first group allowed to do their practice.

 

“Oh...need warm up. See Javi on ice?” Yuzuru asked with a bright smile and he nodded his head hoping he didn’t look all too disappointed when the other pulled away.

 

If he threw a few perfect quad Salchows in his practice just to see the bright smile of Yuzuru as he marveled at them, he would deny it.

 

_ I remember at the table _

_ All those faces, where did they go? _

_ I imagine how it looks like _

_ When I'm not there _

_ I remember, every summer _

_ But now that years are, just a number _

_ There's no backwards _

_ Time is faster with everything I've left behind, oh _

 

Before Javier could really catch up with the events they were already over, the weeks in Japan were coming to a stop. Tonight was the last big dinner of the crew to celebrate the successful tour. Of course having so many big names on the list but especially Yuzuru Hanyu helped them to sell out the venues. Now that Yuzuru retired the demand for these ice shows will be higher. Javier could only dream even if his own show had sold out a few times over the years now, the success bringing him opportunities. Sitting at the table he took a sip from his beer, watching over the faces and wondering how it would be next year when he wouldn’t be joining them anymore. 

 

Would they miss him? Would the audience miss his weird programs and travel to Spain to see him at his own show this year. Somehow everything felt like a closure. Can he maybe stop his feelings too? How long has it been since he was in love with the younger and no matter how much he tried it never appeared to fade one bit. Javier sighed, putting his glass down and in that moment he felt a soft tap to his shoulder. Turning around he saw the reason for his weird thoughts again, signaling him to follow. Nobody at the table commented on how the two retreated to the balcony. Javier leaned forward watching the lights of whatever city they were in right now, Yuzuru doing the same by his side, shoulders brushing against each other. 

 

_ But maybe what I miss most _

_ It wasn't made of steel and stone _

_ And maybe what I miss most _

 

Silence enveloped them only the occasional noise from the crew filtering through the doors. Javier didn’t know what to say his emotions all over the place. He knew what was coming, this could be their last meeting for the coming years. Yuzuru had plans in Japan, having moved back to Sendai. Javier would be taking on his first student in a month or two, organise the very last Revolution on Ice. The younger had yet to decide if he goes into coaching as he saw himself more as a choreographer, which would reduce their chances of seeing each other at competitions. Javier is not going to come to shows anymore, Yuzuru maybe but the questions outweighed the answers. He felt the younger lean towards him, head gently resting against his shoulder.

 

“I will miss Javi the most.” Yuzuru pulled back to look at Javier. The Spaniard felt his breath hitch, trying to swallow the sudden lump in his throat, wondering what he could say to that. Words failed him but from the way how Yuzuru leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips, maybe they weren’t needed.

 

_ It wasn't born of skin and bone _

_ 'Cause under the sun, above the waves _

_ Under three climbs and I'm far away _

_ Maybe what I miss most _


End file.
